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privacy policy

last updated: march 2026

the short version: we don't collect your personal data. all calculations happen in your browser. we don't store your age, salary, savings, or anything you type into our calculators. we can barely store our own emotions.

what data we collect

none of your calculator inputs. zero. everything runs client-side in your browser. when you close the tab, it's gone. we have no database of your financial sadness.

analytics

we may use privacy-friendly analytics (such as Cloudflare Analytics or similar) to understand how many people visit the site and which calculators are most popular. this data is aggregated and anonymous — we can see "1,000 people used the millionaire calculator today" but we cannot see "Lorenz from Padova will be a millionaire at age 308." your existential crisis remains private.

cookies

we don't use tracking cookies. if we add advertising in the future, ad providers may use cookies as described in their own privacy policies. we will update this page if that happens.

third-party services

our site may include links to third-party services (like Ko-fi for donations). these services have their own privacy policies. we recommend reading them, but honestly, who reads privacy policies? (you're reading this one though, which is nice.)

advertising

we may display advertisements on this site in the future through services like Google AdSense or similar ad networks. these services may collect data through cookies and similar technologies as described in their respective privacy policies. if and when we implement advertising, we will update this policy accordingly.

children's privacy

this site is not directed at children under 13. if you are under 13, you probably don't need a millionaire calculator. you need a snack and a nap. both are better investments.

changes to this policy

if we change this policy, we'll update the date at the top. the core principle won't change: we don't want your data. we want you to share our calculators with your friends so they can also feel bad about their savings.

contact

questions about privacy? email us at hello@depressingcalculators.com. we'll respond between existential calculations.